On The Third Hand

13 November, 2001: "Spinning troops"

Uh oh... we are winning. No one expected that quite so soon (except a few optimistic bloggers and a few Afghans). So, what happens now?

My prediction is that we are going to get some ground troops in there. UN peacekeepers would be best, but if they don't get their rears in gear, the Allies are going to have to put some people in, at least on a temporary basis. I suspect there may also be some of the Army Corps of Engineers involved as advisors. We are going to need to put some spin on all this, for propaganda purposes. I've got a few suggestions.

I'm not trying to second-guess the military, but I can't imagine us trusting the United Front to guard airports at which we will be landing military planes. We might trust UN peacekeepers, but they don't seem to be forthcoming at the moment. So, I'm going to go with my assumption (and risk making a jackass of myself). What we need are explanations to everyone for these troops.

• For Pakistan and other people who are nervous (refugees), we explain that we have our troops in to keep the UF in line
• For the hawks, we don't have to do much spin at all, just tell them about all the military gear we'll be landing at airports
• For the anti-war groups, including the muslims, we explain that we need to guard humanitarian warehouses and trucks carrying aid against those who might want to steal it.
• We can explain to the United Front that we are just giving them backup, guarding things so that they can find any Taleban holdouts. I doubt they'll have problems with us guarding airports, as long as they get their bomber support.
• We can tell the media reporters that we are having the Army Corps of Engineers build infrastructure so they can get electricity, phones and hot showers. Might help if we fly them in some personal liquor supplies.

Knowing the usual success of our propaganda corps; though, we'll tell the UF we are keeping an eye on them, tell the anti-war bunch about military hardware, offer refugees the media's booze and tell the hawks about the humanitarian aid.

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