On the Third Hand…

Columbus, Ohio

Ohio Supreme Court Justice Alice Robie Resnick admitted to an Ohio Highway Patrol sergeant that she had indeed had something to drink before she was pulled over Monday afternoon for driving under the influence.

Indeed she did. Despite the qualifing and all too dismissive “something,” - she blew a 0.216 - more than twice the legal limit for driving while intoxicated.

“I’m hoping you show up 000,” Sergeant Stidham said as he prepared to give her the portable test, the results of which are not admissible in court.

“I won’t,” she said. “I won’t. I won’t. I did have something to drink. I don’t know if I had. . . .”

Sergeant Stidham: “How long ago was that, do you think?”
Justice Resnick: “I don’t know.”
Sergeant Stidham: “I mean, a couple of hours?”
Justice Resnick: “I’m just really upset.”

Later, after seeing the results, she said, “Well, I don’t believe that.”

Sergeant. Stidham: “You’re showing a 0.216.”
Justice Resnick: “My God.”
Sergeant Stidham: “That’s well over double what you’re allowed to have.”
Justice Resnick: “I can’t believe that. I don’t believe that test. Do you have another test that I can take?”

“Well yes there is” - the officer should have said - “it’s the one you take just after the female drunk tank in-proccessing officer says, ‘lift your robes and smile.’”

“I am tired,” she first told the sergeant. “I have a mother-in-law who’s 97 and has been in the hospital. I was taking care of her. I have a husband who is on dialysis, and I have got to get to Columbus. I have not been drinking, I will be very careful if you just let me go.”

You can almost sympathize with this poor woman, almost. But then she pulls the ultimate “it’s true, it’s true” moment by blaming the entire episode on some type of EVIIIL Karl Rovian plot: “I’m the only Democrat on the court, and you’re forcing me to retire.”

Yes, just like they forced you to suck down “something” til you were incoherently stupid.

H/T “Briney.”

Cross posted within the “Cavity.”